Bitterness
Flume says it better than I could –
[Verse 1]
What I would do to take away
This fear of being loved, allegiance to the pain
Now I'm fucked up and I'm missing you
He'll never be like you
I would give anything to change
This fickle-minded heart that loves fake shiny things
Now I'm fucked up and I'm missing you
He'll never be like you
[Chorus]
I'm only human, can't you see? I made, I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face, tell me everything's okay
'Cause I got it, ooh, he'll never be like you
—
Wouldn’t we love it if apologies could take away all the pain? If you’ve lived a bold life, you’ve no doubt made mistakes so big your relationship was never the same.
Timbaland comes back with the reply –
[Verse 2]
I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you, oh, oh
I need you like a heart needs a beat, but it's nothing new
Yeah, yeah
I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue
And you say
Sorry like the angel Heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid
[Chorus]
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize
I’ve been the one who made the transgression, and I’ve been transgressed against. I’ve been on both sides, and they both suck almost equally. I don’t have any magic ointment in my bag for you that will take away this pain. What was loved and lost must be grieved, and that process always seems to take much longer than you imagined it would. I’m sure I’ll still feel the sting of some of my mistakes on my deathbed, wishing I could’ve done just a little bit better.
If wishing and wanting could make it better, it would’ve done so a long time ago, right? But it didn’t and it doesn’t. Somehow, somehow that’s ok. We move onwards.
So let’s say some spell magic together. Feel free to add, subtract, or modify any words that don’t resonate with you.
I accept my part in all that was done.
I weave a path that patches over the spot that was found
wanting and hollow.
My promise is to take this knowing forward
doing better to all whom I now touch.
Thank you for this lesson.
I couldn’t have learned it any other way.
I’m sorry it was so painful.
I set down any weight of shame that’s no longer for me,
so that I may encounter the guilt in its pure measure,
and grieve what happened and whatever was lost.
I am sorry,
please forgive me.
Resources
Contemplations
▼ I get people back twice as bad as they got me.
▲ I don’t need to prove my point to be heard.
▼ I act to prove my power.
▲ I act with kindness and restraint.
▼ I wish things could’ve been different.
▲ I release the wish for a better past.